The Power of Now: Sacred Space
I’m by my car, about to open the door to get in, and I turn to say, “See you later.” Before I can, she blindsides me with a comment that hits me like a spray of ice water. The words are bad enough, but the sarcasm adds a degree of radioactivity that I am not prepared for; I have no shield on.
It warranted any number of fitting retorts from me, such as, “You actually have the nerve to say that to me?” or “You’re one to talk!” or “Excuse me, are you just spitting venom or do you have a request?” And these, plus ones not fit to print, jumped to my mind—and I said nothing.
I knew in that moment that there would be no reply that would shift us into constructive communication. She had one foot over the battleground line. Any of the automatic reactive things I mentioned above would only have gotten me engaged in a battle not of my choosing.
I could literally feel the space between “reaction” and “response.” In that sacred space, which must have been small but felt as big as Freedom itself, I was clear I had a choice. I was effortlessly able to choose the perfect reply—saying nothing, knowing there would be a better time to sort this out. No emotion or thought ruled my actions or my words. I was in complete command of myself. If anything, I felt a little curious. What was the source of this upset?
I told myself I would come to her later. How do you know “when the time is right”? When the energy is right. When the angry, battle-ready energy had dissipated (not necessarily disappeared), I would open the conversation. With both of us present vs. embroiled in negative thoughts and feelings, there’s no doubt that everything would resolve. In the state of being present, our caring relationship would provide the context. (That’s the Power of Now.)
Eric Wilson, author and speaker on the topic of “attention” and Levels of Consciousness, has distinguished four thieves of (what I call) being present. In his model, the center is peace of mind and being aware, able to observe the thoughts and emotions swirling around in one of four directions.
In what Wilson’s model shows as “North,” your attention is no longer centered, but instead is focused on identity, consumed with maintaining and protecting the story of who you are. “South” is the area away from the center where your attention is constantly comparing yourself against other people, situations, or material things. Drifting “West,” your attention is on the past. The mind becomes caught in “if only” and “should haves.” The opposite is “East,” where you are not in present reality; you are in the future, either in fear-based projections of what could go wrong, or fantasyland about “one day…”
This is a brilliant model. It assists you when you realize you are “in your head” and “not present.” To recover your attention, notice which direction you’ve been pulled to, and use whatever practice works for you to return to center. To that place of choice, to that sacred space, to the Power of Now.
There are innumerable resources to find “mindfulness” practices you can try if you’re not sure you have something handy and effective to use. I would sum them all up as having the purpose of helping you become a wise observer; a person who knows that who they are is not their thoughts, feelings, or story, but that they can watch themselves have these. You have the space to look over at your body and mind without being overwhelmed by their demands. As a wise observer, you witness each thought that your mind manufactures, and you allow these to flow in and out. We’ve been taught to deal with life using our body and mind, but the true power lies with our higher self. Your higher self dwells in the “center,” so returning from north, south, east, or west is key.
This is completely congruent with the Christian perspective. Romans 12:2 says, "be transformed by the renewing of your mind," meaning that instead of conforming to the world's patterns, you can be changed by allowing God to renew your thoughts and perspectives. Practices like prayer and meditating on God's truth are active ways to help be renewed (present). Transformation requires a daily, moment-by-moment choice to align with God’s purpose, with that alignment possible from a place of being centered and present, not swirling in worries, comparisons, etc.
Does having one’s attention centered really help us accomplish all the big goals we have in life? A client of mine, a first-time author working on a faith-based memoir, gave me feedback about the first two “Power of Now” articles in this series (this one is number 3). She wrote:
“I think there is no such thing as ‘writer’s block.’ Now, when my writing stops in its tracks and I feel completely stuck, I don’t despair. I don’t start beating myself up. I don’t sink into self-doubt. Instead, I go outside for a short walk, no matter the weather. It helps to notice and name things around me, feel a breeze in my hair, or smell a flower. I observe my thoughts and give myself a little pep talk until I am clear-minded and present. Sometimes this takes five minutes, often longer. Then I go back to my writing and find my muse has returned. She apparently is allergic to negative energy, but loves to help me when I am present, positive, and open to the flow.”
Yes. Not only will she be able to keep going and finish her book, it’s going to be engaging and impactful. She’s writing in a sacred space and with the Power of Now.
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