Today, I am editing a manuscript for an author writing about what it takes to run a business, especially the leadership required to have everyone aligned with the company’s mission. It’s on its way to becoming a very good book. I love all the real-world examples and stories the author includes, the well-developed theme of “servant leadership,” and the use of relatable dialogue. But my job is not only to point out what works, but to identify areas for improvement and then make revisions or give specific advice for the author to work on. And I know where to start with my feedback this time.
The unfortunate use of what is called “mixed metaphors” is so glaring, I wonder how anyone could miss it. But then I remember that I see this all this time! My authors are not professional writers; they are people with a message to share, a legacy to capture, or a purpose to fulfill. So I must assume that knowing to avoid mixing metaphors in the same paragraph has simply escaped their attention.
And that’s not a problem—it is my passion and job as an editor. Everyone has a book inside them, and it never comes out already fully grown, dressed, and perfumed.
Hey, I like that metaphor…it just came to me (and I’ll probably use it again). Using metaphor—YES. It improves a reader’s understanding of your point while keeping them interested and engaged. It’s just very important to be consistent vs. “mixed.” The best way for me to illustrate what I mean is to show you examples of the right way and the wrong way. You’ll know which is which.
Example A.
I was barely treading water in this sea of confusion when my manager dropped another bombshell that sent the whole plan off the rails.
The project was slipping through my fingers like sand, while the sharks circled. I needed a lifeline, and I needed one fast. But every move felt like digging myself deeper into quicksand.
Example B.
Tremendous numbers of people in this world are struggling and drowning in adversities of many kinds. You can help them by being a lighthouse on a solid foundation; you can help them by jumping into the waves with a buoyancy vest and lifeline to the shore. But you can’t help them if you yourself go under.
What did you notice? I encourage you to use metaphors, just avoid such “mixing.” Practice by writing a 4-5 sentence paragraph using one metaphorical theme. Now choose a completely different metaphor to get the same point across, keeping the new metaphor consistent. Mastering metaphors is certainly one of the best ways any of us can improve our writing.
Why I’m a fan:
Metaphors make ideas easy to picture. They help readers imagine big or hard-to-grasp ideas in a clear, concrete way so the message is easier to remember.
They help readers feel something. A good metaphor doesn’t just explain—it lets readers feel what the writer means, creating a stronger emotional connection.
They give writing a clear theme and style. When you use the same metaphor throughout a book, it ties everything together and gives your writing a unique voice.
[Example B (the good one) is an excerpt from one of my all-time favorite nonfiction books, The Portable Coach by Thomas Leonard.]
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