Carpe Diem: The Power of Now, Part Two
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“Bad things happen when you’re not present.”
On a brilliant blue-sky day, I am in a small boat in the British Virgin Islands, fishing rod in hand, joyful anticipation at its peak. (During my life exit interview, I plan to tell them about this scene as one I wouldn’t mind repeating for eternity.)
I take in not only the beautiful surroundings but also the view under the water—thanks to the miracle of my new Maui Jim sunglasses. I see fish, big fish! Everyone else has caught some this week except for me, and I want so badly to land our next meal and be the hero of the day. The breeze moves through my hair, the sun warms my arms, the salt seasons the air. I am fully in the moment, and the moment is good.
The little boat rocks easily with the waves, just big enough for the three of us—me, my husband, and his longtime friend Peter, who owns the boat. They sit while I stand. Just as the water gets choppier, I feel a tug on my line. I plant my feet wider for balance and brace my knee against Peter’s bent leg. I’m ready to reel and lift, reel and lift, enjoying the fight with every fiber of my muscles and my happy heart. The line pulls taut, then suddenly goes slack. My fish is gone. Disappointment stings. Oh well, it happens. As I finish reeling in to check my bait, I hear: “Sit down.” Not a shout, but a clear command. And Peter is told to “head in.”
Why is he so angry? Is it just because I lost the fish? The sunny day vibes turn dark. My husband leans close and says into my ear, “You don’t have to be so obvious about it. You and Peter…I get it.” My throat tightens. There’s nothing I can say anyway that will help. I’ve been here before—the innocent bystander at a jealousy crime scene. My mind swirls with useless arguments for the defense as we motor the short distance to the landing where there is, of course, a tiki bar.
By the time I step out of the boat and head behind the building to the restroom, I am extremely upset. But no one can tell—no angry words spill from my mouth, no tears fall. I am a zombie, my legs carrying me forward while my mind checks out.
Much later, I wonder why the ridiculous, unfounded accusations bothered me so much. Why did I give those bombers clearance to land? I had zero romantic interest in Peter, and certainly wasn’t flirting with him by allowing my leg to touch his. I mean, is that really a come-on?
My stomach is in knots as I hurry in the bathroom and come back around to the tiki bar, half expecting them to be there, downing their second or third drink, half expecting the boat to be gone with me left behind. I join them at the high-top table.
I’m barely aware we are now back in the boat, making the trip to where we are staying, where Peter’s wife is waiting.
I have nothing to say other than perfunctory greetings and responses. It doesn’t feel safe, so I—my Self, not my body—am far, far away. Bye. Somehow, I get through the rest of the afternoon and night.
Now I’m up with the sun and we’re packing to leave the islands. The trip is over. My expensive new sunglasses are nowhere to be found. I vaguely remember taking them off when I went into the dim restroom behind the tiki bar. I wasn’t paying attention and left them there.
“Bad things happen when you’re not present.”
Do you doubt it? When do you lose things? When you’re not present. When do car accidents happen? When you aren’t paying attention. When do you blurt out words you immediately regret? When you’re disconnected from the moment. When do you lose sleep, anxious with worries over what might happen? When do you get stuck, confused, doubting yourself until you can’t keep writing your book?
When you’re not living in the Now.
My commitment to be present as I go through every day has led to better decisions, a new and infinitely better husband, and joy-filled work with clients I love. “Now” is your lifesaver—it’s always there for you to grab on to.
For the full picture, read or re-read Part One of this three-part Carpe Diem! on “The Power of Now.” Today’s writing should prompt you to consider why it’s worth doing whatever it takes to expand your capacity to BE in the NOW—to be fully present in life, wherever and whenever. Bad things happen when you’re not present. In the next article (Part 3), you’ll discover the secret to bringing yourself back into the Now by first identifying the direction you’ve drifted. Like a compass, there are four directions—and magnetic forces tugging your consciousness into unconsciousness. The good news—the GREAT news—is that there is a skill to learn, a practice to adopt, that always brings you back to the present, back to the Power of Now.
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